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The incoming president held a news conference down at his classified documents repository in Florida. I’d forgotten what a thrill ride his pressers were. For example, he would like to change the name of most of the Caribbean Sea.
“We’re going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, which has a beautiful ring that covers a lot of territory. The Gulf of America, what a beautiful name.”
Yeah, right. Can someone get the net, please?
He once again explained that he has designs on absorbing Canada and Greenland and reacquiring the Panama Canal. (In fact, while Trump was meeting the press, Don Jr. was in Greenland, possibly scouting locations for the Trump Plaza Ittoqqortoormiit.) And, asked if he would use military force or economic thuggery to build his new empire, he answered,
“No, I can’t assure you on either of those two. But I can say this, we need them for economic security.”
He also criticized former President Jimmy Carter for negotiating the Panama Canal Treaty. Carter was unavailable for comment since his body was being shipped up to Washington to lie in state at the Capitol at the time. Pure class.
There also was the mandatory flex. If all the hostages being held in Gaza are not returned by the time he takes office, he warned, “All hell will break out.” As opposed to, I reckon, the beach party that it’s been in the Middle East since the fall of 2023.
And, finally, there’s whatever the hell this is.
One thing he [President Biden] did yesterday that was in many ways, worse. It’s hard to believe it can be worse. He wants all gas heaters out of your homes and apartments. He wants them to be replaced by, essentially, electric heaters. I don’t know what it is with electric. This guy loves electric! We’re going to be ending the electric car mandate quickly, by the way. This guy loves electric, and he, we don’t have enough electricity…He wants everybody to have an electric heater instead of a gas heater. Gas heater is much less expensive. The heat is much better. It’s a much better heat. As the expression goes, you don’t itch! Does anybody have a heater where you go and you scratch and—that’s what they want you to have!”
Four years of this.
Well, Here’s a Report Trump Sure as Hell Doesn’t Want Released
